Submission

My heart rejoices this morning. Last night, God opened my eyes as I was reading and seeking to learn how to submit to a very human husband. I realized that I have taught myself that he cannot be trusted. In truth, my insecurtiy has deep, deep roots in my past which is littered with memories of those who should have been looking out for the welfare of a child but instead acted like children themselves and put their desires first. But, I digress. My wonderful, loving but very human husband has failed me, at times. It's because he's a man and is not perfect. The problem is that with each hurt and each failing, I used it to reinforce the idea that he could not be trusted. AND with each time that I let him know that he has failed me and with each time I reminded him of his failures I have made it harder for him and I have weakened him. BUT most of all, I have completely disregarded the FACT that GOD is at work in my husband. When I fail to trust my husband and fail to submit to him in God's design for marriage, I also fail to trust God. I am saying that God is not in control and God cannot work out his good plan through my husband. WHAT?!!? I willingly acknowledge that God uses all circumstances for my good. How can I believe that God uses bad things done by bad people for my good and why not believe that God uses my husband who loves me? I have a whole new view of this submisssion thing. I am ultimately submitting not to my husband but to God who knows the whole plan and every step along the way. AND the greatest part of all, with each time that I trust him, I am building him up, I am solidifying our relationship. WOWWEEEE!